The settled will of yesterday

The settled will of yesterday.

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The morning after the nights before.

So here I am again. I didn’t cry much yesterday I was numb I hoped I had dreamed it all and Scotland had voted YES but no I am proud to be one of the 45. It is funny how that number cascades into our history. The toughest thing was telling my son who lives with autism the news. He believed in Team Scotland. I told him we would have the opportunity to vote again and we would have Independence.

I spent all day Thursday outside polling places. At my first in Johnstone some-one had flown a union jack to a mobile mast right next to the school. Hugh Henry MSP visited whispering with his labour party friends while the majority of voters were over 65. The ex local councillor told me he used to be the councillor of a small electoral role because folk were hiding from debt agencies. I reminded him that there were two versions and not all of us on the edited version were hiding we were escaping. That is what I wanted to escape from a bankrupt Westminster system where jobs are for the boys.

At my second stint in Glenburn where I live I was joined by a member of the labour party who said he agreed with most tory policies and had a toe in their camp. Wee Dougie Alexander visited and I told him well done for being on the same side as tories. He looked at me as if I was something horrid on his shoe. That is why I shall never vote Labour ever again. Never. full stop.

The last two years have been wonderful. The people I have met have been amazing and it has been a voyage of discovery for me like many other folk in Scotland. We have all grown together into a nation who has found our voice. I fear that the last minute promises will never happen and I fear for my family. After all mental ill health and autism? They are not real illnesses are they? Soon they will come chapping at our door to take away all that we have to exist on. I know when that happens I will have friends to help and that is a blessing.

Things are going to get tough for folk like us. We have voted NO to austerity and all the trains of glory that surround it. Further cuts to service, and the road to the further Americanization of the welfare state where foodbanks and food stamps will be accepted. I dread it. Meanwhile in George Square last night a few NO voters had a party burning flags and celebrating the reign of Rule Britannia. At least the queen doesn’t have to worry her wee butt and ben is in safe hands for the moment at least.

So my future? Still dreaming about Independence which I truly believe will happen in my lifetime. I have cried now over this missed opportunity but am now ready to get prepared for the cuts which will follow. I am proud to be part of the 45 but now it is time to roll up my sleeves and fight for all those I hold dear even those who I don’t that is why I am a socialist. Rant over. Time to get busy. Thank you for reading this Sandra’s rant companeros. Be kind to each other. #indyref.

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Coping

sandrassp:

Another amazing blog from Gordon Darroch who always reminds me what it is to be human. Thinling of you, your boys and Magteld. X

Originally posted on Gordon Darroch's Unreal Domain:

My doctor asks if I’m coping. I say yes but I don’t really know. I get up in the morning, take the kids to school on time, keep myself fed and watered, drink in moderation and go running a couple of times a week. None of it feels arduous or overbearing. But Magteld’s absence envelops me like a cocoon and puts the wider world at a distance.

To begin with I was surprised by how easy it was to keep going. Just before the World Cup I went to interview a former Dutch footballer. We sat and chatted pleasantly for an hour, and just before the end I mentioned that my wife had recently died. Quite casually, the way you’d comment on the changing of the seasons or a new one-way traffic system. This was two weeks after Magteld had died, which might, in hindsight, explain his slightly startled reaction…

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Teach our children well.

Teach our children well..

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Teach our children well.

Most love their child. It is a basic biological drive to want what is best for our young. It is seen in all creatures especially in humans. Thank Heavens for that. It makes this world a better place to live in. What is different is our attachment to other film’s bairns. I’m a socialist and as you know am on the record for wanting a kinder, fairer, society for all. Of course I always think of my friends and family but my big mission statement includes those I don’t know very well. That is why I was alarmed with the latest advertising cheap tricks of Project Fear. Big huge posters on the back of lorries bearing the image of a probably “hardworking” family because that is the type the unionist parties prefer, smiling and bearing the legend. “I’m voting NO because I love my family”

I am voting YES because I love my family too and I worry what will happen in the event of a NO vote. Actually I fear what might happen to those of us who live with the impact of disability even of addiction.The asylum seeker who has moved here to win a better life for their children Also the majority of us who fall inside the bell curve and use public services such as childcare, libraries. These are everyday things we take for granted but are solely being swept away. A YES vote can give us the opportunity to create a better world for all of us. A YES vote truly means we will all be in this together.

Again I smile as project Fear use this basic human emotion. The playground taunt. My Mammy is better than your Mammy. Those of us who want a better Scotland are smiling and sharing how much we love our children because we know we all do. We don’t need big posters to promote us it is in our hearts. I am optimistic love will prevail and after the 18th we can get on with creating a kinder, fairer society. One where we think of other folks’ bairns too.Love is infectious so let’s teach the next generation to pass this on.

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Ambitions

sandrassp:

Gordon please keep strong. You Magteld and your beautiful boys are often in my thoughts.

Originally posted on Gordon Darroch's Unreal Domain:

Magteld had ambitions right until the end. On a shelf in my living room is a double box set of the last series of Breaking Bad, still wrapped in its cellophane. I’d ordered it on the final Friday, blissfully unaware her life had just over 72 hours left to run, and looked forward to watching it with her the next week, once she had recovered from her first round of a new chemotherapy regime.

We watched Breaking Bad at the rate of one episode a night. Perhaps it seems odd for a terminal cancer patient to become engrossed in a drama with a terminal cancer patient as its protagonist, but TV drama was one of her great passions, and one she could still enjoy in her wheelchair. She’d considered writing a blog about what it was like to follow Walter White’s Icarus-like rise from the point of view of someone…

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On personal attacks Jim Murphy and the YES campaign

On personal attacks Jim Murphy and the YES campaign.

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